Program Participant Spotlight: Nathaniel Childs, Fatherhood Initiative

[Interview from 6/16/2023]

For the first question, can you just tell me about your experience in the Fatherhood program? How long have you been a part of it?

I think I’ve been a part of the program for about a year now. It’s wonderful, I really like the camaraderie that they have. And I like the fact that it’s in person, at first it was the internet and all that. So that was a good way to still keep us involved and keep us connected since we couldn’t come into the building. So I like how they connect with the people and how they reach out.

Do you have a favorite aspect of the program or a favorite activity you’ve done?

Not a favorite. Because it’s so versatile, and it’s geared to so many different dynamics of life. I’m just happy to be a part of it and that I’m able to take what I’ve learned and apply it and make my life better and make the relationship with my son better, the relationship with my children better. I think in that aspect, I think if you come in, then you’re in for a treat.

Do you have an example of something you’ve learned here that you’ve applied to the outside world?

People say all the time that you should be able to take your time and think things through. They say take a minute and count to 10. I say, don’t worry about counting to 10. If you’ve got to count to 20, count to 20. You gotta take five minutes, take five minutes. I’ve learned that the quickest reaction is usually the worst reaction. And you can’t take that bet. So, I would have to say, be more patient with yourself. Because the more patient you are with yourself, the better off you’ll have the opportunity to show someone else patience. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

What does being a father mean to you?

Being a father, I gotta provide in some way, shape or form. A lot of people have it twisted and for me, I had it twisted, I thought I had to have money to provide. And it’s not always about having money, because there are families who have money and the father’s still not home and the father does provide financially, but there’s no time there. So I’ve learned that being a parent, having to have time, and finances is the best thing to do in a situation. But on the real hand, if you can’t financially be there for your child, make sure you spend as much time with your child as possible.

Father’s Day is Sunday, does that have any significance to you? 

For me, it’s just another day, you know, because now I’m a 24/7 dad. Some time ago, I used to be a part time dad, if you can understand that. I was there, but I wasn’t there. I was in the house, but I wasn’t in the house. I was only there for disciplinary reasons. I was a fixture in somebody else’s bigger scheme of a family. So for me, Father’s Day is making sure that you know who your child is, like I know who my child is. You can’t tell me my child did something, and I know he didn’t do it. And I don’t have to be there for that. But Father’s Day is just like, if you really want to do something with it, I think you should really give homage to your dad if your dad is in your life. If he’s not, you should still pay homage to him because he had a part in making you. You don’t always have to follow in your father’s footsteps to be something that he might want you to be. But understand that your father is doing his best and trying to put his best foot forward when it comes to raising you because every kid is different. And parenthood is day to day.

I know your son is here. I don’t know if he wants to answer this. But how do you think he would describe you? He calls over his 9 year old son Can you tell me a little about your dad? Are there some words you would use to describe him? Or do you have a favorite thing that you do with him?

He’s funny. We usually hang out sometime when we have time. Father’s Day is coming up, so I’m gonna give him this card I made at school. He’s nice, he’s cool.

Yeah, great. Thank you. That’s all I need. Is there anything that you would want people to know about you or about this program or anything that you haven’t already covered?

Don’t knock it to try. I came into this with an open mind. And some guys come to it close minded and like, “oh, I gotta do this, I gotta do that.” I had a goal, my goal was to get my son. And this was going to help me on that way to get my son. Everybody has an opportunity to change. If you come here, this is your opportunity to change, it’s your opportunity to take a look at yourself and just try to better yourself. Ain’t nobody trying to down you here. I can say that because I know for a fact when I came here, I wasn’t the same person that I am sitting here talking to you. And it’s amazing that I got picked for this interview. I’m grateful.